Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Snow Rant

OK. I know that it has only been cold and snowy for about 10 days, but I have had enough already with the weather in general and the snow in particular.

First of all, it does not have to be this damn cold to snow. I did not miss that day in seventh grade Earth Science when we discussed precipitation. It need only be 32 F (0 C, for my European readers) for it to successfully snow. Optimal temperature for snowfall is like 28 F (-2 C). It needn't be any colder. Really, it needn't. In Moscow, it has consistently been between -9 C and -14 C (13 F and 4 F) everyday, but especially on the days I have to work. The cold is like a school yard bully. Every day, I go outside, thinking to myself, if I just keep my head down and keep moving, he won't mess with me. Some days it works. But some days the weather picks on me like I was a boy named Sue.

Secondly, why can't I get some "Its A Wonderful Life" big, fat flakes of beautiful snow, slowly, silently drifting down to cover eyelashes and streetlanes alike? No, no, my brother, not in Moscow. Firstly, we don't get big, fat, floaty flakes (sounds like a great name for a generic-brand breakfast cereal). We get these little tiny, icy projectiles, perfect for the wind to whip right into your face and sting your skin and eyes. I like to think of these as Republican flakes, because they always seem at height of their power during rush hour, tirelessly hounding and oppressing the commuters on their way to work.

Thirdly, we only ever get enough accumulation to make the sidewalks slippery enough to fall and bust your.. .well you know. This is especially true of the entrances and exits of the metro --again with the commuters (I sense a vast, right-wing Republic weather conspiracy).

As a rule the metro entrances/exits are made of either marble or polished stone. Because the entrances to the metros are superheated (big fans blast shockwaves of hot air onto the commuters as soon as they reach the vestibles), the approaches are always slushy. If you think snow is bad, slushy steps are a slippery nightmare. The steps are so dangerous that I saw Russians seeking out the handrails to guide themselves down the stairs. When Russians seek out safety devices, you have to know that the situation is beyond dire. Seeing Russians act responsibly was actually a little frightening for me, kind of like seeing your parents cry.

Russians seem not to believe in or be aware of salt, sand or any other device that provides traction or melting potential. They are big believers in shovelling. There are brigades of men, almost all Central Asian, that shovel and sweep the sidewalks, but not all the sidewalks. I am not aware of what the sidewalk shovelling criteria is, but it exists and is being implemented. This means that about 40% of the sidewalks that I use to get to work are not shovelled. The only upside is that walking in snow/slush/ice pack does wonders for your glutes and quads. I think my butt is going to end up in the middle of my back, if this weather continues.

Well, now that you have that lovely image in your head, go back to work. I am officially over my rant. As a woman, I do deserve the right to restart, amend and even reverse said rant anytime in the immediate to unforeseeable future.

Up Next: Istanbul

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry we could not connect when you had returned to the states. Sounds like you are enjoying the weather. I am headed to the heat of Mumbai tomorrow via Frankfurt. I will let you know how it goes when I return. Take care.

8:26 AM  

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